I want to meet the genus who came up with the plan to enter the new highway to Tarlac up in Tipo. You come thru the base, pay your 18 pesos bear to the right and you’re on the way to Angeles City, (I wondered why they never put an exit on Clark Air Base?) after you pay the new toll.

But that’s not my complaint, I live in Tipo, so I must pass through the tollgate to the base (pay 18 pesos) do a “U” turn and pay 18 pesos more, then pay to enter the Tarlac expressway road. It just makes you want to dance with glee, when you know it’s a plan you can live with.

Well as some times happen's the “Popeye Factor” comes in to play. “That’s alls I’s cans stands, and I can’ts stands no mores!”
  You slowly drive up from the National Highway in Tipo, you then check the on coming lane from the base and if clear (that’s up to you) you zoom up the left lane and hang a strong left turn. If shotgun boy at the tollbooth has a problem, just smile and tell him you saw a local do it, so it must be all right. It’s a pretty strong guess that a local has done it before, so you can bluff your way through that.

Now I do try to obey the law as must as humanly possible but as in all things, I sometimes fail. I’ve been stopped on Subic for swifting in a non-swifting zone and the famous “California Stop.”  Then I receive THE QUESTION: “Do you know why I stopped you?” I had assumed it was because he was lonesome and just wanted to talk after standing at the side of the road in the sun all day, maybe not. I hand over a copy of my driver’s license and base ID, and listen to them explain my infraction. I’ve found that nodding my head and the Pinoy head scratch always works for me.  
   Now surprise of surprises, the power of being pleasant will work (or was it the head scratch?), I get a lecture to stop at signs that say stop and not swift too much. I smiled, thanking the man for his service to the nation and drive away. To date I’ve never paid any cash at the side of the road, and did pay one ticket. (120 Pesos on SBMA)  And that was for parking in a white curb zone that they had planned to make it a yellow zone in a few days. I asked the Base Policeman if he was listening to what he was saying. Again, the head Scratch and a trip to headquarters where a boss of some type, agreed with me, now that was a shock.

At the Public Market in Olongapo City I was parked on a side road, and sitting in the car. The Traffic Enforcer informed me that I could not park there. I asked “Why? He pointed to a hand written sign on the sidewalk and said “That’s why”! So using that logic I asked “If I wrote a sign that said All Girls Must Flash Me, would you enforce that too?” The ticket cost 50 Peso, at City Hall, and my name was entered in to the largest book I’ve ever seen. In the corner of the room were piles of the same type of book. I was then asked if I’d ever had a ticket in Olongapo before? My answer “I can’t remember, maybe we should check those books to be sure”.

Coming home from the base in Puerto Rico years ago, I’m stopped for passing on the right. I admitted to the infraction and took the $10.00 ticket. The cold beer in my hand was never an issue. After I received the ticket, I offered the Police Officer a beer, he took one and we talked at the side of road for ten minutes. I choose to live in civilized places.