For over eight years I’ve been off line because of where I live, which just proves that I have had no contact with Internet Porn. And of course no E-mail, well I like the Post Office and the fact that once in awhile they do go postal for me is a plus.

Well at my door last month a salesman from Smart Cell Phone Company arrives and informs me that WIFI has arrived in my neighborhood, and would I like to partake of this service. Since I’d had a cocktail or two, I responded with a hell yes!

Now to my dinosaur computer… Sir you need to upgrade or replace what you have. Now we all knew that didn’t we? So off I go to buy a new Lap Top, price was right and it fit the bill. Then I was informed that I’d have to install Window’s at an extra hundred dollars. But DOS was free! I informed them that I wanted DOS removed as I needed Window’s. Sir;” Window’s won’t run without DOS”, I knew that and proved DOS was not free for without DOS it’s not a computer, it’s just a collection of circuit boards in a plastic case with pretty blinking lights. Okay upgrade the dinosaur. New motherboard, new power supply, Intel Inside, Window’s Pro. And other stuff, $250.00 later I’m in the year 2008 and cooking.  The next day the group from Smart Co. appears, goes to my roof and sticks a meter in the air, then informed me I’m too far away from the tower to receive the signal. Surprised? Not at all, for I do know where I reside, and it was my choice. But for extra $600.00 they will put a dish on my roof and connect me to a satellite. I already have Dream TV!  

Next day my daughter and her husband show up with a friend and hooked my computer to my cell phone and I was online! Why didn’t the people from Smart Co. tell me about that? Or why does the Sun come up in the east? I keep trying to inject logic in to the equation, and that’s why I fail over and over again.